I've got the magic in me

My poor, poor sweet baby. He's sick. Again. I swear its never ending. This past month has been his worst month yet, by far. Three ear infections. Before you go like, Whaaaa? Three? I thought he had one that wouldn't go away? Well let me explain. Let's start with today's events shall we? Because I just had a peachy keen day, how about you? I hope you can smell that sarcasm a mile away. Saturday and Sunday Olivier was the happiest baby on the face of the planet. Laughing his head off, being a little devil and just being happy to not be in pain anymore. Well it lasted less than 48 hours after his last does of antibiotics. Then, at 1 am last night, he woke up. Crying. Again. Pulling his ears. Again. So at 7 we packed up, dropped Jonathan off at work and off Ollie and I went to CHEO to get this taken care of ASAP. Again. We went through registration just fine (although the intake nurse was the same as last time and I was not fond of her). Then we waited, not too long, but long enough. Finally a doctor came in. Well a first year resident. I swear to god it was his first day out of med school. He did the usual, asking questions (he asked the same question 5 times and I repeated 5 times, before he would realize I answered his questions) and then he looked in Olivier's ears. First he said the right side was a little pink with a little fluid. Not bad though. Then came the left which I was sure he was going to jump back from in terror. Oh no, there was a wax buildup. So off he went to talk to his boss then came back to clean it out. Sooooo didn't work so he went off to get the stuff he needed to flush it. Partly worked so then he tried the scraper again. And he did it, but managed to cut Olivier in the process and his ear was bleeding all day because of it. So now he had a clear view. Nothing, just a little bit of fluid but nothing else so it was fine. Hmmmm, this didn't sit well with me. Olivier is not a generally fussy baby. He's a happy baby who doesn't wine or complain or cry for no reason. We weren't getting antibiotics or an ENT referral. As soon as I was in the parking lot I was planning on calling his doctor, who's office was open by this time. I called 10 minutes later and left a message, by the time I got home and Ollie down for a nap (literally took 2 minutes since he was exhausted) the phone was ringing, not his doctor, her receptionist making an appointment in 30 minutes time. Usually Dr Besner calls and asks questions to determine if she needs to see Olivier, she didn't do that this time, he was going in ASAP. One look in each ear, and my little man has a double ear infection and a referral to an ENT. So much for CHEO saying he was fine and didn't need anything. Olivier is now on his third round of antibiotics in a month, each time a different one since the amoxil has no effect on him anymore, and the clavulin didn't really work either. As she talked with me she said she is taking each time we saw someone as a separate ear infection because each time a different ear was affected than the last time. Or in his case, 2 times he had both ears infected. My poor baby, if we had waited 2 more days like the resident said he would have been in so much pain because Dr Besner was like, If his ears look this bad after only a few hours of showing symptoms imagine in two days? At the hospital we didn't even see the actual doctor, he never went to check the residents diagnosis. Idiots. But at least now we are going to be seeing someone who may be able to help Olivier.

I quit my job on Friday! Why you ask? Well I got the job at La Senza! Yay for me! I start tomorrow, my training is in Gatineau, and then next week I will be at the store that is a 5 minute walk from my house. I can go outside on the porch and see the store. I'm so excited! I was so happy to quit Domain des Trembles, you really have no idea. It was just a horrible place to be. The management didn't care at all about the employees, they played favorites all the time, if they didn't like you, or you had a mind of your own and thought on your own, you were in the dog house at every occasion. There was a server who left this week and I know of at least 3 or 4 other people who are looking for other jobs and are interviewing. I felt sad leaving on Friday though, it was a place I used to love working so much and I really did love the residents, I just couldn't work for Allegro anymore. But I'm moving on and up!

On Sunday we went for a walk with Chantal, Tony and the kids and Amelie came with us. This is the second weekend in a row we've walked from the Gatineau side over to the Byward Market and spent the morning there, usually about 3 or 4 hours I think, yesterday we started at 9.30 and got back to the car at around 1.30. We had a ton of fun and Olivier got his halloween costume! A Dalmatian, from Old Navy. He looks cute. We just put it on him quickly to make sure it fit (it was a 6-12 months, but the boy is so small, and he lost weight in the last week too, about a pound, from being sick off of the clavulin) so I snapped a few pictures.

I am in misery, there ain't nobody who can comfort me, why wont you answer me, the silence is slowly killing me

I guess the title says is it all. Just add in the words frustration, agony, desperation and any other negative adjective you would like. It seems like things just like getting worse before they ever get close to getting better. Like the saying goes, when it rains, it pours. Where do I even start?

So I guess I will start with my back. I don't remember if I mentioned it before, but I've been seeing a chiropractor since July (Dr. Carrie Johnston at Re:Form Body Clinic ) I was referred by my friend Rahim who is a chiropractor in Toronto, he and Carrie went to school together. At my first appointment she gave me a req for x-rays. It took me two weeks to go and then after that Carrie went away for 2 weeks and then all kinds of things were going on and I never got a chance to go back. Until this week. I got my results on Monday. To be honest, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, but they aren't good. By a long shot. I have 4 things wrong with my back. 2 I found out from my appointments with Carrie, which are the least serious. The first is from when I was pregnant. The ligaments in my back stretched, just like everything does when you're preggo, and they haven't gone back to normal, and at this stage, 14 months later, if they haven't they probably wont. Because they are so loose the bones move and thats what causes the pain. After that there are little joints in your vertebrae and when I move in certain positions these joints pinch the coating on a nerve. After that there are two structural problems which showed up on my x-rays. The first is I have degenerative disc disease. Not fun. The disc in my L5-S1 is thinning. Chances are it will get much worse. After that I have an over exaggerated curve in my back which is causing a flattening in my vertebrae. The curve is kind of like the opposite of scoliosis (which my youngest brother Marc-Andre has). Instead of the curve going to the side, it goes inwards (towards my stomach if that makes much sense). At this point, its not bad enough to need surgery, but chances are in the future I will. Which means it will get worse. There isn't much that I can do. I have physio exercises to do, and I have to change my job to a sit down one otherwise I could end up in a wheel chair. Yea.

Speaking of job. We have a new chef at work, Roberto Mochi. He's Italian. He's a jerk. The first time I was there, I showed up for my shift at supper and he looked a Jocelyn and asked if I was going to be by myself and if that was wise. As if I needed a baby sitter. Yea. I did 2 years in cooking school, Jocelyn didn't even finish high school. Anyways. This week he called me into his office to speak. Everyone knew my x-ray results and someone mentioned it to Roberto. One of the first things he said to me when I went into his office was that he didn't believe my doctor gave me good advice on what to do concerning my future and my health. He said if I lost weight, my back would be just fine. Well that meeting went downhill from there and at one point I was pretty much ready to quit right then and there. I made a complaint with the director, Roberto said he said none of this (including other complaints which I had) and Marc (the director) suggested it was just a misunderstanding. When someone says, and I quote pretty much word for word, If you lose weight, your back problems will get better. I walk 30 minutes a day and my heart problems got better because of it. It's kinda hard to misunderstand that. Just sayin. And then Roberto had the audacity to say, I will forget to you wrote this letter, as if I was lying. Lovely. Make me hate you even more why don't you? My schedule has changed as well because of this. I got stuck with all the crap shifts. I will never get to see Jonathan. And no one is calling for jobs. And I can't go to school to get the experience I need because I don't have the money because I don't have a different job and I need the school to get a different job. See the vicious circle here? It's possible I mentioned this already. I'm just bitter and upset about this whole thing. I'm dreading work now. I get anxiety attacks and depression whenever I think about it. Like right now. It's putting me in a lovely mental state I tell ya.

What else this week? Well. Last night I went to bed pretty early, before 9, because I wasn't feeling well. I woke up at 10.30 with Ollie crying. And crying. Nothing Jonathan or I did helped. Finally he fell back asleep. Only to wake up 30 minutes later, crying again, even harder. It went on like this all night long. I think Jonathan and I got 3 hours of broken sleep all night. At one point I was so desperate I took Ollie out for a drive, at 1 am, to get him to fall asleep. He did, 3 times. And woke up crying, 3 times. At 7 he got up for the day. And cried and whined and fussed. He took a 3 hour nap with Jonathan this morning while I laid on the couch watching The Killers (really funny, I recommend it) with my 3rd cup of coffee. All day he was cranky, until some point this afternoon when he was only semi cranky. He has a bit of a cold but nothing worse than he's had in the past (he's had worse actually) and he had a fever again (by now we are fever experts). So far tonight he's doing good, but we haven't reached 10.30 yet so I'm not holding my breath. He will be staying home with me tomorrow though. And I will be keeping the car just in case. One of my bff's Dylan says I worry too much, but I can't help it.    

So I'm going to end this with a little positive. Yesterday we went to Bayshore to get Ollie his clothes for fall at the Childrens Place and Old Navy. I have to say, my kid has the most stylin clothes ever. I would kill to have as good of a wardrobe has he does. Here are a few pics I took yesterday (before the sickness turned him into the devil child) when we went to go rent the movie!

Nobody does it better than you. Tell me something I don't already know!

The title of this entry was actually my fortune cookie this morning (left over chinese food was my breakfast and since I ordered enough for 4 people they sent 4 fortune cookies). When I read it my response was, Duh, I'm already well aware of this fact. Neewayz.

Yesterday my youngest brother had spinal surgery for his scoliosis, an 8 hour+ surgery and it went well. He spent last night and today in the ICU but should be in his room now. We will be going by tomorrow after work to see him. I did talk to him this morning though and he said he wasn't in any pain (he sounded dopped up) and that he was doing well which is good.

Today we spent the day shopping. We had to get Ollie's spring and summer clothes. I discovered a few weeks ago that we do in fact have a Carter's and Osh Kosh store here in Ottawa. I was thrilled upon hearing that, I thought it was only a USA thing and that Costco only carried an outfit and that was all. But no, I was wrong and I'm so happy about that! We went nuts. The clothes are good quality, cute, and inexpensive. Like, really inexpensive. A shorts and t-shirt cost 10$ and they're super cute too. So the little guy is pretty much set for summer, he just needs a jacket for chilly/rainy days, some sandals and sneakers (he already has a pair of crocs) and thats it! Oh and a bathing suit. Other than that not much on home front and I don't want to talk about work. It just sucks. Big time. I'm looking for a new job.

How'd you do that?

 

So yesterday was kinda uneventful but eventful at the same time. Ollie fussed all afternoon and then when Jonathan got home from work we went to Costco because we needed to get stuff like kleenex and toilet paper etc. Ollie threw up 2 times, I had to take him to the bathroom the second time to clean him up *note to self: bring kleenex with you everywhere* When we were paying at the cash he completely charmed the cashier and he gave a pout as we left, silly boy. We got home and I took Ollie out of all of his gross thrown up on close and just put him in his crib in his diaper so I could wash the dishes. Afterward I went to check on him before starting the laundry and I found him, diaper undone, the little bugger undid it lol. I of course took a picture and he couldn't have looked any prouder.

The first picture I posted I had been trying to get a picture of Ollie while he was fussing, I don't have any and I want one! But wouldn't you know my sneak attack wouldn't work because as soon as he saw the camera he was all smiles!

Today is supposed to  be another nice day (not a cloud in the sky as I look out the window) so Ollie and I are taking a walk to go and let him pick out his present for Auntie Amélie's birthday this weekend!

You have got to be kidding me!

Now thats a face I love to see in the morning! I took this, along with a few others, the other day when Ollie was playing in his crib, he was supposed to be napping (just like right now, he's supposed to be sleeping but I can hear baby giggles coming from his crib). Ollie has decided that he no longer wants to sleep through the night and in fact he would rather not fall asleep at all. What he doesn't know is that mama always wins and he will fall asleep at some point, no matter how much he fights it!

Yesterday we went and got Olivier his new car seat! He was getting too long for his infant one and was always crying when we would put him in it so i guess he was feeling stuck as well. After a trip to sears to buy it, then another one to return it then another trip to toys r us we ended up getting Ollie an Evenflo Symphony. After he woke up from his nap I put him in it and he didn't cry one time, in fact he was laughing and smiling so I guess he likes it, we'll put it in the car today when Jonathan gets home from work. I got 2 pictures of him in it and everyone keeps commenting on how small he looks, but it was made to start with babies at 5 lbs so I can only imagine how small they would look if Ollie, who is probably around 17 lbs give or take (more give than take I think) looks small.

Did you hear about....?

So Ollie and i went to the theater by ourselves today, our own little date, and saw Did you hear about the Morgans? I liked it, Ollie slept almost the entire time save for a few minutes at the start but he got a little hungry and fell asleep eating his bottle. I slipped him into his stroller with the backrest down and he slept the rest of the movie. We had fun, we got there early and Ollie liked looking up at all of the things hanging from the ceiling in the lobby, all the colors and stuff. Then once we went and sat down he stood on my lap and watched all the people behind us and screeched at them and smiled and jumped up and down.

Yesterday we went shopping! Got all kinds of new clothes for Olivier. The childrens place was having a sale so we got a bunch of polo shirts for 8$ each, jeans (reg price unfornutealty, but they were2 for 30$) and a few other t-shirts and a pair of shoes. Then at old navy he got a sweater and a hoodie that says heartbreaker on it, I'll have to get a picture of him in it when he's next to a little girl lol.

Jessica asked me to update on the Wii Active and the only thing I can say is GET THIS! OMG I love doing it! we are doing the 30 day challenge (started on Dec 27) and its lots of fun, and a great workout, the only thing I can say is make sure you start on a friday because the 2 days afterwards you are SORE, but I highly reccomened it to anyone and everyone, its a lot of fun and Jonathan likes to do it too, I'm so so so happy we got it!